3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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