I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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