Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
