did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
