I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
