I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
