ugly people sure do ruin things
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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