i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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