direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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