i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
