wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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