this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
