oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
