I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
