he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
