the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
