i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
