I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize