Don't you send me to vm
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
