nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
