last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think your dad took our porno
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
BRING THE BAGELS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
