He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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