I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
