this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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