I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
