I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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