I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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