Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
