Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
