we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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