And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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