He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it hurts more in the daytime
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
