I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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