well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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