you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
