guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
