you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want to make out with him forever
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
