I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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