i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
