He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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