WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
