Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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