There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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