Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
