Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
