she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
