Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize