Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
