great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
