someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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