There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
