Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
