Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
