Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I will pee on everything he values.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
