Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
