I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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