It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize