Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
