he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
