wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
