The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
