i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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