Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
MIDGETS
????
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
