I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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