if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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