i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
