Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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