Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
