that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize