BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
